Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it present...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

...and I’m feeling good!

I signed up for my first Community class in Burlington on June 20th, and my first Community class in Oakville on July 4th. I am actually excited about these classes now. What do I have to be scared of right? I’ve learned a lot, I’m strong...and I’m just like everyone else that will be in the room that day. I just want to feel good and do that’s why I’m there.

I worked another one on one session with Simps last Monday. I organized a flow for us to do based on what she wanted to work in her body. I realized how similar we were, and I had to kind of laugh because this is Colin must have felt working with me in the beginning.
Simps has the drive...but doesn’t believe in herself 100%. She WANTS this...but is that enough? She’s been VERY vocal and honest about our journey together which I really admire and respect. This not only helps her...but teaches me a great deal. I told her she’s REALLY testing everything I’ve learned which is truly valued. We worked really hard on Monday and I beyond doubt tested her limits. I realize now that maybe that wasn’t the best use of my knowledge. I have to go back and remember where and when I got the MOST out of my time with Colin and Grant. I remember specifically the therapeutics part of the yoga. Learning about the body, the muscles and HOW they move together. I have to remember that Simps doesn’t know what I know and I do need to start at the beginning with simple things like shoulder flossing to be able to first experience the movement and recognise the FEEL and placement of those muscles and body parts. I mentioned to Simps that I can only be there to support and guide her, but ultimately this is up to her and “HOW BAD DOES SHE WANT IT?!” I like that we’re similar with the “wanting” aspect. Wanting the “goal” the “end result” the “correct pose” so bad...I’ve had to learn how to just be present in the moment, and when I’m ready, things will start to shift and happen. I’ve also learned that there’s a LOT more to it than “the pose”
I look forward to meeting with Simps again next week and just getting back to the basics with her.

I had my first Reiki treatment with Kaja (another friend from teacher training) yesterday. I didn’t know what to expect as I’ve never had a treatment before. I liked that I had no expectations as it made it easier to relax.
Kaja brought me into her room and had me lay down on the table. She told me to close my eyes, relax and if I fell asleep...even better! She mentioned I should start out with meditation, and concentrating on my breath. Well, I tried. Again my brain wouldn’t shut off. I tried not to get caught up in the thoughts. She walked around me placing her hand on different parts of my body. Head, shoulders, stomach and working her way down, then again on the other side of my body. A few times I caught myself sleeping/dreaming and forced myself out of it. I’m not sure why I felt like I needed to “come back” but I did. I don’t remember enough of what I dreamt about, but I do remember thinking “WEIRD!”
Other than the heat from Kaja’s hands, I didn’t feel much during the apt, except at one point my entire body tingled. It was like I had pins and needles EVERYWHERE, but the good kind, not the painful kind. If there is such a difference. It was about an hr later Kaja softly woke me up and we talked about our experience. She told me I had a lot of great energy flowing through me and I definitely had “the touch” this means a lot to me as there have been quite a few people tell me they love my hands. They’ve told me they feel something when I touch them. No one can really explain WHAT they feel they just always say “wow you have great hands” Just in yoga, this has happened on 4 different occasions with different people. I keep coming back to the fact that maybe I should have continued my dream of being a massage therapist? But then again...if I should have been...wouldn’t I be? Who knows, maybe my assisting/adjusting in yoga is where I can really thrive with this energy. She felt I was a very grounded individual when she touched my feet. When she touched my shoulders...”Sparkles!” is the word she used to describe the energy. She said she’s only experienced that with one other person. She thought maybe it was just the one shoulder but felt the same thing when she touched the other. She said it was electrifying. I’m not really sure what to do with this I’ll just sit with it for now. She mentioned needing extra love and energy around my stomach (if you know me...this is true!) and my heart (again...VERY true!) However she also told me this “Stop searching for the answers, and stop looking for others for the already know have all the answers you need” I couldn’t say anything, and just laughed because I KNOW! Kaja ended with telling me that the one thing that came out the most is what a happy individual I am. Not just always smiling on the outside, but I truly am happy and positive on the inside too. Overall I couldn’t of asked for a more real, exciting, joyful experience. I got to know Kaja more and I guess I finally got the closure and recognition I needed for myself to heal the things I wanted. Kaja mentioned to just take it easy for the rest of the night, drink lots of water as most people tend to crash due to the amount of energy flowing through their body.

I went to yoga! LOL

I definitely agree with being exhausted afterward. I felt bad during yoga because I kept yawning every 3 minutes. Christine worked us HARD! This was certainly not an easy class last night and I was interested to see how my practice went. I noticed I was a lot more present than usual and although being very tired, I had a lot more energy, not to mention the smirk I had on my face the entire time. I just felt wonderful, inside and out. I went home and had the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.

Things ARE changing and shifting...I can feel it!

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